I am reading a “first-hand account” of a trip taken in 1253 to meet the Golden Horde in Mongolia. It’s very interesting but…

I had to stop at the mention of FORKS.

Why? Well, my mainstream history books tell me that us barbarians in Great Britain did not use forks until the French Princess, Henriette Marie, married Charles I in 1625 and brought this strange eating implement with her to England. Gasp!

Every day, I am more and more certain that our history is part BS and part SPAM.

Looking at my own country – “invaded” by them, there uber-sophisticated Romans. Who didn’t think very much of us!

“The barbarians (i.e. Brits) usually swim in these swamps or run along in them, submerged up to the waist. Of course, they are practically naked and do not mind the mud because they are unfamiliar with the use of clothing, and they adorn their waists and necks with iron, valuing this metal as an ornament and a token of wealth in the way that other barbarians value gold.” 

Blah. Blah.

And then suddenly, this nation of ours grows a pair, multiplies its collective brain cells from 2 to 4, gets dressed, has a bath and takes over everything.

Does this make sense?

The same could be said for virtually every country’s history. But it wasn’t actually like this. We were all much closer. Much more cultured, intelligent, literate, technologically advanced. Willing to share, to learn, to teach, to talk, to eat together, to respect, to fall in love, to merge.

Wistful Sigh.

And no – I don’t like SPAM :o)