Pish. How about keeping warm in 2019?

Go to coal shed and fill scuttle. Roam around a damp, cold garden collecting twiggy sticks and fir cones. Pile all into the burner. Along with every bit of scrap paper you can find. Shout out loud “Where’s the **************** lighter.” Open dampers. Set fire to all the above. Close door. Repeat a few times.

Finally shout, “Will someone please open the front door. There’s no air.”

Woohoooo!

Lie down on hearth rug. Exhausted & Agitated.