OK. It’s taken me 24 hours to recover from this.

Listen to the conversation that I had this time yesterday. It started with a loud KnockKnock on the front door.

Hi. I am xyz from the Council. Here is my ID. It doesn’t look like me right now.

No. That photo is of a much better looking man.

I am here to tell you that your boundary hedge, which is now encroaching on a public footpath, needs to be trimmed.

With what?

Uuuurrrrm. We have marked out the 45 feet that need to be trimmed.

LOL. I have someone living here who works for you lot.

Really? What’s his name?

xyz

No. I don’t know him.

He’s working with zyx today!

OMG. I KNOW zyx.

OK, pal. Who complained?

Err. Uuummm. No complaints. We are just….er….um…..OH!

And exactly what are YOU here to ENFORCE?

Wow. You have a beautiful garden. Tell xyz that abc just called on you.

Thank you. Don’t worry. I WILL!!!!

There are a couple of leaves on my hedge that can brush against and potentially fatally wound a passerby or several.

I have zero respect (?!?)